AI Isn’t Coming For Our Writing Jobs, You Schmunks

Think about it, for fuck's sake

Well, when I say OUR writing jobs, I’m not talking about all writers.

If you are the kind of nooshball (like me) who spends a portion of your time writing corporate junk like sales copywriting and all that, then you should expect that income to dissolve entirely from your life. And personally, I’m happy about that.

I fucking hate marketing, especially writing copy like some modern-day, asthmatic Don Draper. So, I, for one, will be getting out the Officeworks banners to celebrate the end of my corporate income.

It’s different, though, for creative writers.

And yeah, I know. Don’t get offended if you think copywriting is also creative writing. It is to a degree. But there is a massive difference between writing books and poetry and copywriting.

You see, when someone reads copywriting, they are not relating to the author. They are relating to themselves.

Besides total copywriting geeks, who would wonder who wrote a particular long-form advertisement for a desk that wanks you off while you work? Would you? No, you would be too busy wondering how many different speeds it came with.

We don’t consider the author at all in copywriting. But with fiction writers, poets and the other, more artsy writing trades, the author is a massive part of what people relate to. Readers want to know about the person who wrote the piece. It’s the same with art. They want to connect to the creator and understand their thoughts when they produced the work.

When someone relates to an authentic piece of art, they are relating to the creator as much as the piece.

And so, if AI were to do all the copywriting, no one would give a fuck. Because when they read it, they are only interested in the product to which the work is leading them.

But if AI were to write a novel, it would be different.

I’m not saying AI will not produce meritorious art in the future when it begins to develop complex emotions like humans. But that may be a long way off. And even if it does, it will still be about the creator of the piece and how they relate to it.

Only literary wankers give a massive shit about how good the writing is alone. Most readers care about what the author is trying to express. And while humans are around, with all their damn emotions, there will always be a place for readers to read and relate to their work.

If you want a good example of what I’m talking about, you should buy my latest book, ‘Midnight In Footscray.’ Then you should respond to this and tell me if you think AI could have written something like that.

And yes, perhaps this whole article was, in fact, a long-form piece of copy. But if you have come this far, then you listened, and you gave a shit, and you probably felt me speaking to you, which is the secret of good copywriting anyway.

So maybe even good copywriting isn’t finished.

Maybe AI won’t be taking any writing jobs at all.

Maybe we are all gonna be okay.

Maybe you should buy my book.

Maybe my anal-probing dreams mean something after all.

Fuck. I think my housemate has been putting crystal meth in the sugar bowl again.